Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Where have I been?? Living, of course!

It's strange how life gets in the way of living, isn't it? I found out today that a mom with a son on Stephen's baseball team is "into" blogs, and told her about my blog. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't touched it in a long, long time. If blogs were like houseplants, this one would surely be dead.

Spring, although beautiful in northeast Georgia, is such a difficult and melancholy time for me. And now more so than ever -- our sweet next door neighbor passed away a week or two ago. He and his wife have truly adopted our family (boy, they didn't know what they were getting into!! haha), and he was Stephen's golfing buddy. Now he's gone, my mother's been gone 16 years now, and the beauty has faded from spring.

I'm not sure where to start - first off, we're no longer a "homeschooling" Bulldawg family. Yep, the unthinkable happened - we sent the kids off to public school. It was a gradual slide; the boys went first this past school year. Sam to play baseball, Stephen just because. Then the girls went in November. The house got suddenly quiet. Just me and the weenies. But my adoption practice had skyrocketed, and it was no longer fair to the kids for me to be gone so much and no longer fair to me to expect me to juggle everything. Like the man on the Ed Sullivan show spinning the plates, my plates were spinning out of control.

We are still a traveling family - went to St. Louis this past Labor day weekend to see Albert Pujois play in a Cardinals uniform for the last season. Had a great visit there and plan to go back this year. Camping, the beach, other trips......all scheduled around a very hectic baseball season(s). If you've ever had a son play travel baseball, or even had a child play a travel sport, you soon realize that your life is no longer your own. Your schedule not your own. Free time? Forget about it! Baseball in the spring, summer, fall & don't forget those winter workouts. So much more competitive these days.....

We're still Bulldawgs, too. Mourned our loss in the SEC championship game to the LSU tigers, and secretly rejoiced when they got their tails whipped by 'Bama in the national title game. Freaked out because Michigan State -- what???? Michigan State?? beat us in the bowl game in January. I have to think like a Cubs fan - next season will be OUR season.

And we're still a family. I've found out that although some things change, they will always be the same. Still a family. Looking out for each other. Laughing together. Crying together. Fighting together. The simple decision to get up each morning and love one another - especially my husband - is a decision that I gladly make. The alternative is not pretty. Because I cannot be dependent upon Larry to make me happy. I can't depend on my work to make me happy; neither can my children make me happy. Happiness is a choice, and is based on circumstance. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit; one that I'll gladly embrace, even in my sorrow over lost loved ones, financial difficulties, lost career opportunities and the like.

And that's where I've been ..... hope to hear from you soon!