Entangled

I saw a picture on Facebook the other day.  It was a picture of a whale that had been tangled up in fishing net and couldn't surface for air.  The poor thing would have drowned had people not somehow managed to free it of the fishing line.  It was entangled, and nearly died because of it.

I've been entangled, too.  I've been having a pity party about myself and my situation.  I thought only of myself and how terrible it was that I had been injured back in April.  I got upset when people - kind people, friends, close family and others - acted like nothing was wrong with me.  I felt trapped in my brain that wouldn't - couldn't - come up with the words I wanted to say.  I felt trapped in my body that couldn't quite get around like it used to, or walk as fast as it used to, or sometimes fell when I lost my balance.

But mainly I was entangled in my feelings towards God.  Not quite anger, but more resentment.  You see, I never felt angry at the poor kid who hit the baseball that came flying out of nowhere to hit me.  Hit me hard.  In my noggin.  I don't know who he is, and he has no clue that I've still suffering.  Still I was entangled.

I saw a different picture on Facebook recently.  It was a sea turtle who had been encircled by a plastic six-pack ring.  You know the kind.  They hold the cans together.  This sea turtle had grown up with the plastic around his shell body.  The body was pinched in the middle, and he had grown normally on his front and back, but the shell in the middle was stunted and unable to grow by the cinching power of the plastic.  Stunted.  Even if freed, would he ever grow normally?

I've been stunted in my growth, too.  Not my physical growth, but my spiritual growth.  I felt at first, "why not me?", but as the hours turned into days, the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and I sometimes felt better, but sometimes felt much worse, the urgent need to lash out at somebody, anybody began to grow within me.  It cinched me up, right around the middle.  Kept me from growing normally in my spiritual life.  Stunted and entangled.  Ineffective and miserable.

The writer of Hebrews (New Testament) spoke of the sin that so easily entangles us.  He told us to throw it off and run the race anyway.  Run?  Heck, I can hardly walk some days.  But the writer didn't mean a physical marathon.  He was talking about a spiritual marathon.  We can't look at it as a race we run for days, weeks, months, even years or decades.  Ever see a relay race?  That's the picture I get when I'm told to run the race.  My granny handed off the baton to my mother, then she handed it off to me.  Hopefully, I'll be handing it off to five who will run the race with endurance, without the entanglement of sin weighing them down.

The author of Hebrews gives us a hint about how we're supposed to run with perseverance.  When I was a little girl, I would sometimes accompany my daddy to the fields where he was planting corn.  Or soybeans, depending on which field.  I asked him once how he could keep a straight line on the tractor, since there wasn't any guide on the ground as to where he was supposed to steer the plow and planter.  He said that he'd pick out a tree, way across the field, near the creek.  He'd keep his eye on that particular tree, knowing where it was to be in relation to his own position.  And that's what we're supposed to do, too.  Except we're supposed to keep our eyes trained on Jesus.  After all, He's already run the race and knows where we're supposed to go.  He also knows how we're supposed to finish.

For a long time, it hurt my head to read anything "deep".  I could fiddle with Facebook, or write letters, or prepare Petitions for Adoption for my clients (simply because I've done so many, it's second nature).  But to really read and dig into something complicated, that was another story.  So I fell out of the habit of reading and studying Scripture.  Fell hard.  Fell down so far that my entanglement took root and flourished.  I didn't want to read, study, pray, or anything.  I felt I no longer needed God.  Not really, anymore.  Then I realized that I was literally shaking my fist at Him.  Well, I guess I showed Him, didn't I?

But ever so gently, He began to clip away the entanglements of my sin.  The sin that was stunting my growth. He knows me, you see.  He created me.  So He knows what's best for me.  That I run the race, with my eyes fixed on Him, free of the entanglement and weight of sin.  Satan wants us to be entangled.  Wants us to be stunted and ineffective.  Then Satan can move on to the next willing victim, knowing that we've been rendered helpless.

I don't like feeling helpless, and I suspect that no one does.  But that's when God reaches out.  He's softened my heart, and He can soften yours.  He's been ready and waiting for me to be sorry for my thoughts and feelings.  He wants us to flourish and be effective.  He wants us to know that there are many who are watching us, cheering us on, both here and in heaven above.  He wants us to realize that nothing, absolutely nothing matters except Him.

What kind of baton are you passing to the next generation?  What kind of race are you running?  A race with purpose, with a goal in mind?  Or a race that meanders here and there, going in fits and starts?  Or are you sitting on the sidelines?  You have truly asked Christ to make a difference in your life, but you don't know how to run the race.  Or you ran for a while and then got tired.  Or bored.  Or felt too sophisticated to run anymore.  Or maybe you're not even in the stadium.  You think all this talk about Jesus is silly, and that there ought to be lots of different ways to heaven (if it even exists).  And as long as you feel that way, I need to be even more determined in the manner in which I run the race, so that you no longer see me, but you see Jesus.  That's all.  Just Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1	Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:2	Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Oh, my head!

I see that my last post was on April 16, 2012.  That was just six days before my accident -- literally, it seems, the end of the world as I once knew it -- happened.  If you are "friends" with me on Facebook, then you already know what happened.  If not, well, then, I guess here goes.

The human brain is an amazing creation.  And, yes, we are CREATED beings - we did not evolve out of primordial goo in a thick pea soup of electrons and neurons.  We were created by a heavenly Father who is still extremely interested and loving towards His creation.  Even the ones who shake their fist at Him.  The brain is an extremely complex organ, surrounded by cushioning fluid and protected by a hard skull.  Some of our skulls are harder than others, but that is a story for another time.

When the skull is hit by something - let's just say a hard hit baseball, like a line drive foul ball, shall we? - going approximately 80 - 90 mph off an aluminium bat - there is an instant reaction.  The scalp is instantly split along the seams of the baseball.  The baseball bounces off, not even bloody because it bounced off the skull as if it hit concrete (in fact, witnesses said it sounded like it hit concrete.) The skull is either dented or crushed (thankfully, mine is just dented), the head snaps back, suffering a whiplash effect, and the brain inside is shaken like grey jello.  If fluid backs up into cavities in your skull, between the bone and the brain, then your equilibrium is affected, causing balance problems and motion sickness.  Also, the hearing can be affected, and tinnitus often results.  (Tinnitus is a ringing or swishing sound in your head; can be constant or intermittent, and can drive a person nearly crazy.)  If the person is really unlucky, then the baseball can cut an artery, causing massive amounts of bleeding.

That is what happened to me on April 22nd.  I'm told I drifted in and out of consciousness.  All I remember is closing my eyes because the sun was way too bright.  I know that I was blessed to have a critical care nurse and a family nurse practitioner there on the scene immediately, or I could have bled to death.  The ambulance certainly took their time - so I've heard - and I guess they just figured someone had a little bump from a fly ball.  I didn't realize until I was told that I was sitting in a pool of blood, or that Albert, my sweet canine companion, was covered in blood.

I just remember being extremely thankful.  Thankful that I didn't lose an eye, or that my facial bone structure hadn't been crushed.  Thankful that sweet, caring and capable nurses were there, tending to my wounds, holding my hands, keeping me afloat.  Thankful that my God is a great and powerful God and that His plans for me will not be sidetracked by a foul ball.  God is bigger than a baseball.

I've been asked "why did this happen to you?", like I'm a person who deserves better treatment or something.  My reply is "why not me?".  Why not?  Why shouldn't I suffer pain - sometimes terrible pain? Why shouldn't I be reduced to nothing?  In my weakness, God is made strong.  This injury has stripped away the facade of Judy, the self-sufficient person who is always in control - sometimes, too much control.  It's now very basic - will I be able to sleep with the noise in my head?  If I sleep, will I wake up with a headache?  If I don't wake up with the headache, how much time will I have (productive time) before it slams into my head like a freight train?

There is no "concussion pill" or "concussion shot".  There is nothing that will make it go away, except time.  And a grade 3 concussion can take a very, very long time to heal.  So I put aside my typical witty, brilliant self and totally rely on God.  Is that where He wanted me to be?  Did He allow this to happen (and yes, He did), in order to slow me down?  To keep my eyes fixed on Him - the author and finisher of my faith?  Is this a thorn in my side - a distraction - that will try to steal my joy?  For we forget that happiness is based upon circumstances, but joy is based upon our relationship with God.  And in my present circumstances, I get pretty unhappy, I'll admit.  But I'm learning to cope.  Learning that I need to rest for an hour or so each day. Learning that I cannot go to the movies because of motion sickness and aversion to noise.  Learning that I can't sit through an entire praise and worship set at church because of the same reason.  But today, I was able to sit through most of it!! and was able to lift my voice in song and in praise to my Creator, the One who holds me in the palm of His hand.  For I am the apple of His eye, His very treasured possession.

So friends, if you see me and I look a little drawn or have a little frown on my face, it's not because I'm mad or upset.  I'm either hurting or it's hard for me to concentrate because of the din in my head.  But God has given me grace enough to work - to minister to my clients and their precious children.  God is giving me the grace for each day.  Each step.  Each breath.  A little at a time.  All while He lavishes me in His love, grace and goodness.  He has not forgotten me.  He just needed me to lean on Him a little harder, meditate on Him a little longer, be just a little more thankful to Him each day.  I could have been killed or significantly mentally impaired, but I was spared.  Obviously, there is a purpose and a reason for my being here.  I am prayerful that I will show God's great love and mercy towards all, for it His desire that all should be drawn to Him.

A baseball is a beautiful thing.  The seams are all sewn in a uniform manner - each baseball is the same, yet different.  Inside the baseball is a wad of string with a hard core, covered in leather.  Some are valuable because they have a famous player's signature on them.  Some are valuable because of the event they were used in - like the World Series or the All-Star game.  The one that hit me is valuable because it revealed God's great love and mercy towards me.  Sure wish I had that ball......

Thank God for Jesus

I guess the title of this post doesn't really make sense, does it? But I was reading in Colossians again, and my fingers started itching to write some things down. I've kind of come to the conclusion that this is as much of a diary or journal that I'll ever have, and I want my kids to have something behind that they can crawl into my head and either see my foolishness or whatever small grain of wisdom they can glean from my musings. Hang on tight, because I get a little preachy. But if you know me well, you're not surprised, are you?

So I was reading Chapter 1, beginning in verse 15 where Paul begins to describe the character of Christ. This is immediately after Paul's prayer for the believers at the church of Colosse (and indirectly, the church at Laodicea, since this letter was meant to be read by them as well). I was reading and was struck by the fact that Paul goes into very elementary detail about God's attributes, His deity, and omnipotence. Intrigued, I asked myself, "Judy, why did Paul go into all this detail about God?" The only logical answer was that Paul did it because this church didn't know. Colosse was in what's now known as Turkey, and was an important trade route for the Roman Empire. Not as important as Ephesus, a port city, or as Laodicea, but important nonetheless.

I say all this to point out the obvious fact (which has just now become obvious to me, but I'm a slow learner) that Paul's audience was not Jewish, nor did they have a Jewish background. Paul's description of God would have been very offensive to a pluralistic society, and to their worship of many gods. And boy, is it offensive today!!

Reading this, my mind raced ahead to "Earth day", coming up on April 22nd. Talk about a pagan holiday -- this is it! People all over the world will make a huge show of worshipping the creation, NOT the creator! We will hear about all the good works done by people to protect the environment, improve the conditions of the planet, reduce greenhouse gases, etc. Now, I don't think that anything that helps humankind be a better steward of the Earth is a bad thing at all, but what I object to is the elevation of the planet Earth over the people who inhabit the planet. We were given dominion (by God - read Genesis) over the Earth, but it is a sacred trust in that we should be good, kind, compassionate and leave the planet a better place for our children and grandchildren. For example, when we go camping, I make sure the campsite is cleaner when we leave than when we get there. It's my duty to not throw trash out of the car window, my duty to be kind and compassionate to animals (especially if I"m going to eat them); and my duty to be a responsible citizen. But I do all this because I'm a steward, not because the Earth is something to be worshipped. Worshipping idols is alive and well in America. We just don't have little statues in our houses, build an altar to them or kill a lamb in front of them. But we sacrifice our unborn babies on the altar of convenience, and we worship ourselves when we put ourselves before our God, our spouse and our children.

But the idea to the citizens and new believers at Colosse was much like the ideas and beliefs of this post-modern, progressive era in which we live. What do you mean, they ask, how can you be so arrogant as to say that Jesus created all things and that all things were created for Him? These are the same people who worship evolution and science, but that's another topic for another day. Plus, the thought that God has charge of the rulers of the Earth is also a sore subject for many. Somehow, I can't see Vladimir Putin or Hugo Chavez acknowledging that they are in power by God's design. Just not going to happen, is it? And once, we had representatives in our government who believed that they had a sacred responsibility to answer to God for their decisions and governing over the American people. It always amuses me to see elected officials scurrying to church during an election season. I mean, if they're not going to church before they run for election or re-election, then how stupid do they think we are? Unfortunately, many of our elected officials can count on the gullibility of the average voter.

But the main point of my devotion today was contemplating Christ's death on the cross. Paul has already explained that Christ was supreme over everything in creation, including the angels, but then he goes on to talk about the blood. the blood is very, very offensive to modern day society, as it was to the citizens of the Greek & Roman empires. The thought that blood was shed for the forgiveness of sins was an absolutely revolting idea for them. How primitive! The Jews still had their sacrificial system then, you see, because the Temple was still standing. The church at Colosse had jumbled up pagan beliefs, Jewish legalism, Greek philosophy and thrown in a little mysticism which resulted in false teaching.

Fast forward to 21st century America. Most folks, when asked, will tell you that to get to heaven you have to be a good person and do good things for others. That's nice and it sure would eliminate our prison system if everybody did that, but that's not the truth. Beginning in Genesis, it is clear that man can never be good enough, or holy enough, on their own by their own actions. Who are we measuring ourselves by? I can say that I'm better than some personin jail for dealing drugs. But that person can say she's better than a murderer. Then, that person can say, well, I may be a murderer, but I'm not as bad as Charles Manson. Heck, even Charles Manson can say to himself, at least I'm not as bad as Hitler......and Hitler killed millions less than Stalin and Mao-Tse tung. People are using the wrong measuring stick, aren't they. I can make my own yardstick, and have 36 inches of various sizes, none truly an inch and can sincerely believe that I've measured a yard. But is it a true 36-inch standard yard? I can get in my little red & black convertible, put down the top and decide to go to California. Heading east. Will I make it to California from Georgia heading East? No way. I'll run into the Atlantic ocean in about 6 hours or so. Even if I sincerely believe that I'm heading to California, I'm sincerely wrong. Just as all roads do not lead to California, neither do all roads lead to heaven. And that's very, very offensive to most people, just as it was to the recipients of this letter.

Again, I'm chasing rabbits. Because they main point that struck me this morning as I studied was the question of Christ's physical death on the cross. His past actions have resulted in a method by which my past-due account can be wiped clean. That's what "reconciled" means. It's an accounting term - you know, how you reconcile your bank account and if you've written everything down properly, you come out even. I never write things down and often forget to keep track of my expenditures, so it's typically a surprise to me at the end of the month to find out either that I have money or I don't have money. Crazy, isn't it? I usually have a pretty good idea in my head as to how much I have, but sometimes I'm pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised. Getting back to the physical death of Christ on the cross. The Jewish priests had been slaughtering goats, lambs, birds, bulls, rams, etc. for years. Over and over, the sacrifical blood was spilled for the sins of the people. Sticky, stinky blood staining the stones of the altar. Cascading over the sides of the altar onto the stone floor of the temple. Splashing onto the robes, legs and sandals of all those standing near to the altar. Sacrifices, even human sacrifices, have been practiced for thousands of years by man in an attempt to please their God or gods. But the dumb animal had no soul to present spotless and blameless before God. Although just one man, the blood sacrifice of Jesus was enough to make all things clean. "Peace" - we can rest in Him, knowing that we don't have to do anything - it's all been done. Right before a party at your house, you're running around, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, cleaning, making sure everything is perfect for your guests. Sometimes, you get finished before the first guest arrives, so you plop down in your favorite chair and rest just a minute. It is done, you think. There's nothing else to do. (there probably are a few dust bunnies you've missed, but that's beside the point - when you're doing housework with four kids and four weenie dogs, you're never completely done, trust me.) But this time, it really was finished. We can rest in Jesus, secure in the knowledge that He did everything for us & there's nothing we can do to earn our salvation.

Boy, that galls some people, doesn't it? They either acknowledge Jesus as a good man, or teacher, or they accept His deity - equal to God. Was it His physical death that saved us? or did He experience a spiritual death? I don't think so. But he agonized before His death, bearing all the sins - past, present and future - of the entire world. I dare say that the spiritual pain He suffered far, far exceeded the physical pain He suffered. He was already limited physically to space & time when he assumed the skin, muscle, bones & brain of a man. He gladly gave up his "invisibility" (v. 15) when He became God in skin. He had been hampered by that since birth; He couldn't physically be in the presence of the Father in heaven. What a relief it must have been for Christ to be reunited in heaven with the Father! Fully God yet fully man while bound to this Earth, His costly blood sacrifice means that we no are free in Him!

Most will reject the idea of a Savior, because they don't realize they need saving. You don't need a rescuer if you don't know you're drowning, do you? But when you begin to gulp in water instead of air, when you're flailing in the water, desperately seeking something - anything - you can grab on to, you know you need saving. So much so that the rescuer sometimes drowns along with the victim. Not so with Christ - and if people only knew how desperately they need rescuing, they would grab onto Him and never, ever let go. People today place their faith in science, technology, knowledge, bank accounts, family, their reputation, their position, their career. All of which can be gone in an instant. I'd much rather place my faith in Christ alone. v. 17 - He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

Not all roads lead to California from Georgia, and not all beliefs lead to heaven. It's my calling and my passion to spread the word about the road map - the Bible - God's gift to mankind. Thank God for Jesus!

A Meaningful Life?

I guess it was inevitable. I'm getting to the reflective point in my life where I say to myself, "Self, are you ever going to amount to anything?" I wonder if it's because I'm a spoiled, only child that I am so absorbed with my own accomplishments. You see, I'm of the era where Dr. Spock (not Mr. Spock) ruled with a soothing voice. The iron-fisted method of raising children was passe, you see. You didn't want to hurt the little darlings' egos, did you? Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone wins a ribbon. Encourage the heck out of them. Tell them they can do anything. Can accomplish anything. Well, that's hogwash.

I'll never be President. I'll never go to the moon, or even to outer space. I'll never sail the world. I'll never (fill in the blank here). I'll never make the cover of People magazine (guess that's a good thing). Heck, I'll never even go around the world (too expensive). It's easy to sit around and dwell on the things I'll never do or can't do. I'll hit the double-nickle this year. Yep, I'll be 55 years old in August. So I can't, in all fairness, refer to myself as middle-aged. How many 110 year old people do you know running around, after all? My bones creak and ache. I dread the thought of exercise, although I know I desperately need it. I am tired; continually exhausted with the daily grind of life. I need, no, I'm gasping for the endurance and patience that God has promised me. I long for a close, true friend, just one, with whom I can share all things and with whom I can be totally transparent.

Watching the Masters yesterday, I was struck by the realization that Bubba Watson has never taken a golf lesson, doesn't have a coach and has never watched his swing on video. He's what they call a "natural". He shouldn't be able to do what he does, but he does. I toy with the idea of taking up golf, tennis, or something but then laughably acknowledge that I'm far too uncoordinated to do anything like that! Always the scrawny kid - always the last one picked for a team - always the easy out. That's me.

Do we all reach the age or the realization that we'll never be significant, except to a handful of people? Is anybody else disappointed with that realization, or is it just me? I think of the billions of people on this planet today who will be born, will live and die in relative obscurity. Is it just an American obsession with significance? Is is a modern-day evolution of the psyche that we grope for significance? How long has navel-gazing been an acceptable pastime?

This whole thought process swelled from my reading in Colossians this morning. The prayer that is encompassed in Chapter 1, verses 9 through 14 is a perfect example of a prayer we should pray for other believers and also for ourselves. Neither Paul nor Timothy planted the church at Colosse, but their friend, Epaphras, had established the church there. But their reputation -- the way they were living their lives, their faith, their love for each other -- had reached Paul and Timothy. Paul prayed a "proscuno prayer" for that church; a fall on your face kind of prayer - a worshipful prayer - for that church. He prayed that they would have "epignosis" - full discernment - of God's will for them.

I want epignosis. Don't you? I want someone to pray a proscuno prayer for me. I want to be controlled by and filled with the full knowledge and discernment of God's will for me. Why? Verse 10 tells us - "in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God". Paul goes on to say that we should be strengthened with ALL power. The Greek word he uses here is where we get our word for dynamite. All power, huh? Explosive, tremendous power. The kind that implodes buildings, blows the tops off mountains, and rattles the windows for miles around.

Live a life worthy of the Lord. Please Him in every way. Bear fruit (teach and disciple others). Grow in the knowledge of God. Is that the secret? Is that what countless others have learned that I'm just now beginning to grasp? Is that all there is to this Life?

Does it matter that I'm only significant to a few around me? As long as I'm living a life worthy of the high calling of Christ, then that's enough. As long as I'm being faithful and BOLD to tell others about Jesus and His loving sacrifice for them, teaching others, and growing in my own knowledge of God and his mercies, then that's enough. As far as endurance and patience go, He has qualified me to share in His inheritance. "Qualified" here means that it's a done deal. His past actions on the cross have assured the future result of my standing before God.

As far as my children go, and for a few others around me, I long to be significant to them. Not for any personal accomplishment, but significant in my passion for Christ. With great strength, He rescued me from the dominion of darkness and brought me into the kingdom of the Son he loves. The one who laughs at his or her need for God is the one who is living a meaningless life. An insignificant life.

Let's just hope I can remember this lesson the next time I'm groping for some significance in my own life. I've got a feeling this is a lesson I'll be learning each and every day. Until I'm 110.

Where have I been?? Living, of course!

It's strange how life gets in the way of living, isn't it? I found out today that a mom with a son on Stephen's baseball team is "into" blogs, and told her about my blog. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't touched it in a long, long time. If blogs were like houseplants, this one would surely be dead.

Spring, although beautiful in northeast Georgia, is such a difficult and melancholy time for me. And now more so than ever -- our sweet next door neighbor passed away a week or two ago. He and his wife have truly adopted our family (boy, they didn't know what they were getting into!! haha), and he was Stephen's golfing buddy. Now he's gone, my mother's been gone 16 years now, and the beauty has faded from spring.

I'm not sure where to start - first off, we're no longer a "homeschooling" Bulldawg family. Yep, the unthinkable happened - we sent the kids off to public school. It was a gradual slide; the boys went first this past school year. Sam to play baseball, Stephen just because. Then the girls went in November. The house got suddenly quiet. Just me and the weenies. But my adoption practice had skyrocketed, and it was no longer fair to the kids for me to be gone so much and no longer fair to me to expect me to juggle everything. Like the man on the Ed Sullivan show spinning the plates, my plates were spinning out of control.

We are still a traveling family - went to St. Louis this past Labor day weekend to see Albert Pujois play in a Cardinals uniform for the last season. Had a great visit there and plan to go back this year. Camping, the beach, other trips......all scheduled around a very hectic baseball season(s). If you've ever had a son play travel baseball, or even had a child play a travel sport, you soon realize that your life is no longer your own. Your schedule not your own. Free time? Forget about it! Baseball in the spring, summer, fall & don't forget those winter workouts. So much more competitive these days.....

We're still Bulldawgs, too. Mourned our loss in the SEC championship game to the LSU tigers, and secretly rejoiced when they got their tails whipped by 'Bama in the national title game. Freaked out because Michigan State -- what???? Michigan State?? beat us in the bowl game in January. I have to think like a Cubs fan - next season will be OUR season.

And we're still a family. I've found out that although some things change, they will always be the same. Still a family. Looking out for each other. Laughing together. Crying together. Fighting together. The simple decision to get up each morning and love one another - especially my husband - is a decision that I gladly make. The alternative is not pretty. Because I cannot be dependent upon Larry to make me happy. I can't depend on my work to make me happy; neither can my children make me happy. Happiness is a choice, and is based on circumstance. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit; one that I'll gladly embrace, even in my sorrow over lost loved ones, financial difficulties, lost career opportunities and the like.

And that's where I've been ..... hope to hear from you soon!

Too, too long!!!

It's been too, too long since I've posted, and my oldest dear daughter recently reminded me of this. Let's see - where do I start??? Do I go back and talk about Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years???? Very special times, especially 'cause my Philly-living girl came home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Many good times with family! We hosted the Homeschool Christmas dinner - I think there were about 50 or so folks in attendance. We also had our Sunday school class over after Christmas (not quite as many, but still a good time!).

Super Bowl party at the Sartain's house! I'm thinking there were about 80 or so students and various adults in attendance. We had four TV's going and lots of great food.

We just returned from a trip to Kentucky and a combined visiting relatives/field trip/reunion with classmates kind of jammed-packed four days. We first went to Columbus-Belmont State Park in Kentucky; where the Confederates thought to out-smart the Yankees by stretching a huge chain and anchor across the Mississippi to keep them out of the deep South. Didn't work & the rest, as they say, is history! Got some great pictures and learned a lot. The museum is closed during the week, but I called and they opened up especially for our "school" group!
Susan and Lillian, Larry's aunts and our favorite traveling companions, went with us. They were amazed that we saw four major rivers - the Mississippi, the Ohio, the Tennessee and the Cumberland. We spent the better part of Friday with relatives - my favorite cousin Doris and my aunt, uncle and cousins in Dycusburg. We went by the farm where Doris and my father were raised, and by the farm where Mother lived as well. Visited Mother's grave and other relatives at the cemetary there. We went to "old" Kuttawa and I tried to remember where some of the buildings had been before they flooded the town in 1966 to form Barkley Lake. Had a wonderful visit with my aunt, uncle and 3 of their kids (and some grandkids & great-grandkids). I hadn't seen them in several years and it was good to catch up.

We drove around Paducah and saw Nobel Park, my old house where I lived for 20 years on Oaks Road, saw my high school, my old church and toured Paducah. I had forgotten how pretty it is with all the dogwood and redbud trees in bloom. We went to Metropolis, Illinois - the home of Superman! Quaint old river town. Then toured Fort Massac State Park where a reproduction of the Revolutionary War fort has been constructed. Lillian managed to get in a little antiquing in Paducah. The downtown has been partially restored and there are neat shops, galleries and cafes up and down Broadway. The floodwall has been beautifully painted with murals depicting Paducah's history - from the Indians through the building of the nuclear plant and the atomic age. We finally found the statue of Chief Paduke (I think he sold Paducah to the Clark boys for about $5).

Best of all, we were able to eat Fiesta Burgers at Bob's Drive-In! Yum!!! If you've ever had one, you won't forget it! I'm craving one right now!!!

One of the highlights of the trip for me was a dinner planned by my old friend (not that she's old - we've just known each other since 1st grade) Debi Walker Crouch. She managed to get together about 7 of us at Logan's Steakhouse. David Forbis came and brought his lovely wife, Nancy LaRue was there, Minnie Duncan, Debi, Donna Ramage, and Twyla McGuins! Our high school choir teacher, Donna Green Seltzer, was able to drop by. We had a great time talking about old times and hoping for a class reunion. We laughed, guffawed and just had a wonderful time. My throat was sore we talked so much. I think the others did most of the talking and I mainly listened. (ha)

I'll try to do better in keeping this up. I know I left out lots of stuff, but keep watching; I'll do better. Baseball season has started, so look for some baseball pictures!!

I've been hacked!

Hey mom - its jess and i hacked your blog! (haha)

Just wanted to say happy birthday!!!!

Where did the summer go?

I hate the early school starting dates. Funny thing is, we homeschool, so we don't adhere to the "school calendar"....but inevitably find ourselves impacted by it at church, in traffic, shopping, etc. We don't have a huge need to buy school supplies right now, but if I don't buy while cheap - it will be 10X more expensive later (if you can find it)! Kickoff tonight at church for children's choir - it's only July 29th!! I remember that I NEVER went to school on my birthday (Aug 26th) until my freshman year in college. To this day, I have a tinge of regret that it's not a more widely recognized holiday. LOL We don't even close the pool until mid-late September. (somebody please tell me if I'm sounding like Andy Rooney)

Trips to the beach, camping, spent the last month agonizing over my oldest daughter's bicycle accident injuries (riding her bike in Philadelphia & hit by a car). Trying to keep a much-too-big house clean with 4 kids, 2 dogs and a cat chasing behind me, messing as they go. Grieving over a dog that had to be given away; wounded over a heart-breaking church situation.

BUT - seeing Stephen catch a fish all by himself. Watching Catherine swim lap after lap at swim team and slowly pull ahead of the others. The "ping" of the bat when Sam hits a ball; the snap of the glove when Larry catches a hard strike thrown by Sam. Observing a brown spider make her way up her web between the porch railing and roof line. Planting flowers; cross-stich; listening to Cat and Hannah laboriously practice their piano and then hear it all come together. Floating in the ocean, holding hands with my husband. Watching the Braves win......and lose. Cuddling with a fat, wriggling puppy. Gently cradling an elderly little dog, who gazes into my eyes, her dark expressive eyes emoting love, care, and devotion.

Preparing now for the school year with the same enthusiasm as always. Moving books to the right shelves, clearing out paper & junk on desks; deciding which furniture to move out or just rearrange. Figuring out how we'll juggle kindergarten, 3rd, 5th and 8th grades in the same room. God will help us through it, I know!

Spring in the Summer

Boy, that scientifically-verified global warming is about to get me down. low of 43 degrees tonight and a high of 69 tomorrow. Our pool is hovering at about 66 degrees, which is not warm enough to bask and not cold enough to enjoy slushies. The rain is a blessing, one I predict we'll be praying for in late August.

So many things going on with the kids. The Bookworm had a chorus recital and a band concert, so we are finished until August. Soccer is finished, so we only have two involved in sports - baseball for both boys. Scooter hits from both sides of the plate and has a good throwing arm. Of course, if you'd spent all your life throwing things at the DIVA for your own personal protection, your aim would good as well. The Children's group at church (the DIVA is a member) had a great spring production with lots of summer fun and songs. She enjoyed being in it.

The last weekend in April, we went on a wonderful camping trip with the Homschool group at church. Several families and lots (LOTS) of children. Kept busy all week end just being kids.

General fatigue and malaise has set in, I'm afraid. I need to exercise both my body and my mind. The new weenie dog, Daisy, has everyone on edge. Her name, "oopsy, daisy, doodle" give somewhat a clue as to what her bathroom habits are. First, she doodles, then it's an "oopsy" from me as well as the threat. It takes forever to housetrain a miniature daudhsand!

I'll try to add some photos soon. My tylenol is sinking in .................*snore**

2009? already????

Boy, have I been neglectful. We've had a busy, busy winter here. No snow, unfortunately..... sure do wish we'd get about 6 inches (settle down now - it would be gone in a day or two)!

Let's see - Thanksgiving. My dearest husband's favorite holiday; I think it has something to do with the fact that you don't have to decorate, buy gifts, or wear new clothing. Seriously, we have a lot to be thankful for........

We discovered in the fall that the baseball baron has a muscular problem with his eye muscles. (have I already posted about this? they say the memory is the first to go and I don't remember what the second thing is). They (his eyes) are weak and do not work together properly. He has tracking problems, focusing problems, and does not see spaces between letters or words. Fortunately, we have found a wonderful vision therapist in Marietta (about 1-1/2 hours away) that is working with him and doing a fantastic job. We want his reading to improve and he just wants to hit the baseball better! Hopefully, both goals will be achieved. Meanwhile, we have to drive there once a week until probably October or so. In conjunction with that therapy, he is also taking reading therapy which helps him to see the words better. That's in Clarkesville, a little town about 40 minutes from us ----- which leads us to another THANKFUL!

On December 22nd, we were involved in a head-on collision. Me and all 4 of the kiddos. Blessings upon blessings, no one was injured save for bumps, bruises (on me - very interesting shades of black, blue, yellow, purple and green) and a serious case of the jitters. I kept finding new bruises for several weeks.

We had a WONDERFUL Christmas - someone said "guess you'll have a lousy Christmas" after the wreck. On the contrary, were were so very blessed to be together and healthy - celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior. After purchasing a replacement vehicle, we went ahead to Orlando to see our wonderful, beloved, talented, extraordinary BULLDAWGS play in their bowl game. We got to see the Citrus Bowl parade, spend some time with dear friends at their lovely home, and generally have a low-key trip. I'll have to add some photos of the trip.

The baseball dude has been playing basketball all this winter, and we've enjoyed the games immensely. He's playing in a tournament now, and the games will come to an end next week ---- just in time for BASEBALL season. Actually, baseball season never really ends around here. He is playing with a new travel team and they've been practicing twice a week all winter long.

But what's funny is that Scooter will be trying out soon for coach pitch baseball! He's so very small, but he's an absolute machine when it comes to hitting the baseball. He's already learning to switch hit (he's just 5!).

There's something about baseball. Carrying a chair in your car for months; having to take a cooler of gatorade and diet pepsi to every single game (and that means snacks for everyone, of course); the chill of the beginning of spring season and the end of fall season; the "ding" of the bat as it connects to the ball; cheering on the team until you're hoarse; watching the siblings play on the playground (go play, kid, so I can watch the game); seeing all the dogs and puppies at the ball field; the deep red of the Georgia clay on the baselines and pitcher's mound; the electric green grass on a bright summer's day. Baseball is everything that is good and right in this world. Plus, you play it on a diamond, so it can't be bad, right? But there I go again, chasing a rabbit.

Let's see - both boys start baseball within two weeks, the Diva will be gearing up for soccer soon, and the Bookworm has been taking dog obedience training classes for the black lab. Add in chorus for both, band for the bookworm (along with drum lessons), and we're always pretty busy. Oh - and we manage to fit in some pretty rigorous school work, too.

Believe it or not, we've added a new member to the family. Oh, no, you scream! Not another baby, please say it ain't so......! Well, this is a four legged baby. Black with red trim. Another miniature dachshund. She's our little Daisy, and it's amazing how a 1.8 pound creature can disrupt an entire household! But just like a human baby, she's so adorable and cute that you overlook the mess.

Are we caught up yet? I'll scoot back soon to add some pictures to this rambling mess of a post. Sometimes I feel like we're sitting on the porch, having a long conversation over a tall glass of sweet iced tea. Come to think of it, just come on over and I'll pour you a glass, too!

Catching up......!

Yes, it's been a long time. Too long, I've been told! I'm not even sure where to begin.

We visited Myrtle Beach, SC over the Labor Day weekend. Our trip was intended to go there to attend a Myrtle Beach Pelicans minor league baseball game. Jon Mark Owings of Gainesville, GA is on their team and plays outfield. The Owings family are great folks, and we wanted to go to give Jon Mark some support. We enjoyed the game but we weren't too impressed with Myrtle Beach. I guess we've been spoiled by Destin! Plus, it was just too stinkin' hot!

Let's see -- what next? Things have been so very busy around here. I had been hoping to get back into the church choir and help with the Christmas production, which is a very big deal in our very small town! It's been called the "Biggest Little Christmas Production" in North Georgia. You can go to www.concordministries.net to learn more about it. Anyway, things kept getting in the way, and I was so disappointed to have to send my regrets again this year. However, the Good Lord was looking out for me and my sanity. Sam has been diagnosed with a visual muscle problem and we are now driving to Marietta (2 hours there and 2 hours back) once a week for vision therapy, also twice a week for reading therapy. Truly I would have pulled my hair out if I had ONE MORE THING on my plate!! We are excited that the baseball baron can be helped, and grateful for a wonderful doctor who can help him.

Speaking of the baseball baron, he tried out and made a new travel baseball team, the Gainesville Braves. He is very excited about this and we are already involved in practices. They will really crank up after the first of the year and are planning to play in at least three tournaments.

During a lull in the action around here (ha!), I administered the Iowa test to my three star students. The bookworm (grade 7) scored on the 12.7 grade equivalency level, the baseball baron (grade 4) scored on the 8.2 level [even with his vision problems!] and the DIVA (grade 2) scored solidly in the 3rd grade level. So I was pleased ..... it never hurts to have a little affirmation that things are going well and we're traveling in the right direction. I was more nervous than the kids while waiting for the test results.

Following our ITBS testing, we managed to grab a few days in Destin in late October. We stayed at the beach house and dear hubby's parents came down for a couple of days as well. The bookworm has turned into quite the shutterbug and took some great photographs. She's entered several pictures from last year's Key West trip in the National Geographic Photography Contest for Kids. Let's hope she does well. Grand prize is a Nikon camera!

We're beginning to gear up around here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Cold weather, the winding down of football season for our beloved Bulldogs (only more more game ..... vs. Georgia Tech), shorter days --- all draw us to the conclusion that 2008 will soon be over. For the first time in her life, I won't be spending Christmas with Jessica. She will be staying in Philly with Josh over the holidays since he can't get off during that time. Very, very bittersweet for me and she will be sorely missed. I knew the day would come, but just not ready for it.

I'll be adding pictures to this rambling mess soon, and will probably do some pretty savage editing at that time. Til then, ta ta for now!

The DIVA has a rockin' birthday!

The Diva had a great birthday party. Luau theme - with hula hoops, flower bracelets and lots of bling! Swimming, pizza, chips & dip, loud Disney music on the CD player, and the airbrushed cake were enjoyed by all ....... but NOTHING compared to the limo ride! A dear friend who owns a limo service came by and picked us up to go get ice cream. What a sweet birthday gift for the Diva! Saucy little thing - she had suggested a limo ride for her birthday and then proceeded to remind the owner of "Simply Elegant" of the date of her birthday! She's not shy in the least ..... she's even been referred to as a "sassy girl" by a former fiance!

The girls' eyes were as big as saucers when they saw the limo pull up. I've never had a classier ride to the Dairy Spot, and the employees there were all tickled when they were invaded by squealing little girls (can anybody squeal like a 7 year old?).

Truly a birthday to remember. For all of us!

All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia!

What a great trip to be able to travel to Philadelphia by myself to have 4 whole days with Ca-ca! and what a whirlwind.......but I think we got a lot accomplished. She is changing jobs, so of course we had to visit the new campus. And of course Mom had to help pack up the old office.

And.....ta da! The first purchase of a brand new car. She did quite well for herself in choosing the car and we exhausted (quite literally) all the small cars in a 75 mile radius of Philly while we were exhausting the salespeople who had the priviledge of helping us during which time we exhausted ourselves as well.

We ate at Geno's famous Philly cheese steak joint (ok, but not up to the reputation), and a diner in Exeter, PA (specifically recommended to us by a really nice Exeter police officer -- a long story -- just a suggestion - always, always check first if you can turn left when the GPS says the restaurant is on the left) with great omelets, "home fries" [i.e., hash browns] and LOUSY sweet tea [I should have known better]. We also went to a great corner bakery that reminded me a lot of Panera Bread (yummmm!). I also got to try a water ice ... but ended up with a chocolate custard waffle cone that was big enough to share with several people. No wonder I gained 4 pounds while I was there!!!

We also had the opportunity to attend church at Calvary Chapel in north Philadelphia. I finally got to meet the pastor we've been listening to on the radio and internet and what a wonderful worship experience. If you are ever in the Philadelphia area, be sure and visit this church. The pastor said they get visits from over 40 countries on their website.

But the best part for me was the time spent with my oldest. When she comes home, I have to share her (and she has to spread herself thin) with the brothers and sisters who are convinced that she hung the moon. I'm so very, very proud of her --- it truly doesn't matter how old they get, they're still your baby!

Training camp? Hot, but fun!

We did something different this morning -- visited the Falcon's Training Camp in Flowery Branch! As we were driving down, I thought how we are so very fortunate to have such a wonderful facility and the home of the Atlanta Falcons right here in Hall County, Georgia.

Thankfully, it was in the morning and we were perched on the side of the hill enjoying the breeze as we watched the scrimmage. We watched all four quarterbacks take snaps and observed the defense running drills as well. What a treat to see D.J. Shockley, Keith Brooking, Matt Ryan and lots of others. The bookworm and the baseball baron got lots of autographs -- but I think the Diva got more than anyone!

It was funny to see how small the kickers were compared to the defensive linemen---you see the difference on TV but it really shows up in person. They had several activites for the kids and it proved to be a well-thought out opportunity for the fans.

Let's just hope they give us something to cheer about this season!

Bowling camp?

Yes, bowling camp! The baseball baron was signed up for a baseball camp that fell through, and the girls were already signed up for bowling, so he joined in the fun. The Bookworm (do you call it hurled? threw? rolled? ) bowled a high score of 107 for the week (no bumpers of course). All the kids enjoyed it, especially wearing the fancy footwear!

Cool time in Boone, NC

We went camping this past weekend to Boone, NC. Why? Well, the day-time temperatures ranged in the low 70's and the night-time temps hovered around 60. Need I say more? The KOA was very clean and had a lot of activites: swimming pool, mini-golf (Scooter creamed everyone), ping pong table (the Baseball baron has decided he likes it), a well-equipped playground, lots of places to ride bikes, chickens and even a few very well-fed goats. Throw in a lot of kids to play with and what a great weekend!

We spent some time in Blowing Rock as well. We ate lunch at Sonny's Grill, which was apparently the inspiration for the Main Street Grille in the Mitford Series books by Jan Karon. I haven't read the books, but they really know how to make a great burger! Small hole in the wall joint - eight counter stools and three small tables. Needless to say, when our crowd squeezed in, they didn't have a lot of room left for other customers. Quaint little town - reminded us of Cashiers, NC.

Part of the reason for the trip was to scope out the ski slopes in western North Carolina. We went by Sugar, Beech, Appalachian and drove by Hawksnest. I think we're going to give them a try this winter. Some of the places were over-built (think Maggie Valley), but the views and breezes were awesome. The elevation was surprising to us - at times we were actually higher than when at Snowshoe, WV.

Of course, no visit to Boone is complete without paying homage to the local place of worship, ahem, I mean the football field. We went by Appalachian State University and strolled onto the football field. They were holding a cheerleading camp, which in a couple of years will pique the Baron's interest much more than it did last week! He was more fascinated by how "springy" the field felt, and we were interested in the huge expansion project ongoing. They are going to nearly double the size of their stadium, and tickets are at a premium because of their Cinderella win over Michigan in Ann Arbor last year.

I enjoyed the rows and rows of black-eyed Susans on campus. Their school colors are yellow and black, so the flowers were perfect! The kids all got App State gear to wear as well.

While in downtown Boone, we visited the stores on the main drag, which is King Street. A typical college town, the stores are a mixture of antiques, junk, hippie, upscale and artistic. We decided to eat at a hole in the wall place called Black Cat. The bookworm dug in her heels and refused to enter the place - she said she was scared!! Well, it turned out to be very clean (although the decor was decidely funky) and the food was .... WOW! We could have easily split two or three meals, and the food was so good that we felt obligated to stuff ourselves.

The day we set aside to visit the Grandfather mountain and Linville Falls area was the day it rained and was foggy. We still enjoyed traveling the winding roads, marveling at the need to connect one very small dot with another by building a road which hugs the mountain, switching back and forth as you gain altitude. We saw several large boulders, one of which is pictured above. My dear husband decided it looked just like a grouper. Whatever.

Back home again, but definitely a place we'll want to visit again. Penny didn't like the goats, or they didn't like her, depending upon your point of view. The nights were enjoyable, gathered around the fire with popcorn and hot chocolate. Just don't forget your blanket, because you'll need it!!

We got him, finally!

In re-reading all of these emails, I am amazed at how this whole adventure (Hannah, too) was bathed in prayer. We depended on so many people to be our prayer warriors and so many, many things happened and "miraculously" worked out that it could only be attributed to prayer!


Dear friends and family: It is 2:11 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 18th, a very cold afternoon in Murmansk, Russia. As you may have heard, we left suddenly for Russia on Saturday morning after only 2 days notice of the court hearing. Our flight to Murmansk was delayed by several hours, and we got in too late Sunday night to email a message home. Except for the delay, the flights were uneventful. During the rush to purchase tickets and change airports & planes in Moscow, I fell down the "up" escalator at the airport. I have several bruises on my left arm, right temple and bad scratches on my right hand. Larry said that he would be sure to tell the judge that he beat me up because I got out of line.

We got up early this morning and went to the orphanage to visit the baby. His hair is a little longer than in August, and he has a bad chest cold. He is not walking yet. Larry couldn't believe how much Stephen looks like Perry as a small boy. Other than the cold, he looks to be in fine shape. I can't wait for Dr. Hosford to take a look at him and get this cold straightened out.

Now for the exciting news -- as of 11 a.m. this morning, the judge in the Murmansk Regional Court awarded us the permanent and immediate custody of Stephen Alexander Sartain. The ten day waiting period was waived by the judge. Larry made an impassioned plea that we needed to be home for the grand celebration of his parents' 50th wedding anniversary! Even the prosecutor told the judge that the baby needed to spend his first birthday with his family! Of course, "immediate custody" in the Russian time frame probably means Wednesday!

However, we have a lot of running around to do that would be hard on Stephen - getting in and out of cars in the cold, etc. We are working on paperwork this afternoon - for some reason, some careless interpreter somewhere spelled "Larry" as "Larri" and some of the paperwork must be corrected. Believe it or not, we got here faster than the emergency paperwork of last week! Remember the papers that had to be submitted before court - they aren't even here yet!

It is cold here & the snow was piled up on the edges of the runway at the airport. I hope I brought the right sizes of clothing for the baby. The grass and flowers of this summer are long gone, and Larry remarked over lunch that Hannah and Stephen will have no idea of what their world was like. The entire city is rather bleak and looks like the worse housing project in Atlanta (or worse). We hope to get the baby's passport photo taken this afternoon, and continue to work on the Larry/Larri problem.

Tomorrow will be spent at the passport office, as we cannot travel out of the city without a passport for the baby. We hope to return to Moscow on Wednesday night, and are scheduled to be back in Atlanta on Friday. We were not able to secure reservations at the Marriott Grand Hotel, but will be staying at another Marriott Hotel in Moscow. Larry slept like a log last night, but I was pretty restless. I remember dreaming that the escalator ate my hand! I'm hoping to sleep better tonight, now that the court proceedings are over.

Catherine, Sam & Hannah - you have a new baby brother! Cat, he has blond hair like you! Sam, he won't be able to play ball yet, but he will think you are wonderful! Hannah, let's just hope you don't love him to death! Be good, and Mommy & Daddy will be home soon. We love you!

To all our friends & family - thank you for your prayers as we continue on this journey. Please continue to pray that the paperwork will be completed smoothly and that we will be on our way home soon! Please pray that Stephen's congestion clears up and that he won't get sick on the plane. Thank you all for your encouragement and friendship!

Me in Moscow with a Gold Am Ex card....Dangerous!

Here's my 1st post from Moscow. I'll never forget the panic!!!! Read on....

Dear friends & family - Well, the day started out bad and went downhill from there! First, at the Murmansk airport, I missed the bus to the plane. You don't just walk onto the plane there, you have to go way out onto the tarmac to board the plane. The bus was jam-packed full and it looked like some people got off, so I figured there would be anothe plane. Well, it got closer and closer to take-off and no more buses. So I went up and asked a wizened old fellow with some of his teeth if there would be anymore buses. He immediately started shouting to the crowd "pon glisky" which basically means "does anybody here speak English". Everyone stared blankly at me. Finally a woman approached and could at least understand that I was supposed to be on the plane WAY, way out on the tarmac. The old man looked startled and pushed me along & we walked, ran, walked, ran all the way to the plane. I made it on time and thought, well, that's that. Boy, was I wrong!

Got to Moscow o.k., praise God, even though I'm sure the plane was older than me. Handed in my passport at the hotel, emailed Larry and thought I would settle in for lunch. Then I got a call and had to go to the front desk. Apparently I didn't have a certain form which proved that I had checked into a hotel in Murmansk on the 16th. So, they decided that I was in the country illegally and would need to go to the police station. Well, I balked at that and was insistent that I had entered legally and had indeed stayed at a hotel - I showed them the bill and everything! I told them "what do you think, I've been wandering the streets for 4 days?"? But I didn't have the special form. They repeated again it was "a rule", but couldn't tell me what the form looked like, and suggested the police again! I wasn't looking forward to spending the afternoon (or worse) in a holding cell in a Moscow jail while they figured everything out. At this point, I called Larry in a panic and got HIS blood pressure up (might as well share the stress, right?). I think he was ready to call the Embassy or just come get me; but both of us were determined that I was not leaving the hotel with anyone! So, I prayed, "Lord, I don't know what this form looks like, but You do. Help me find it, please." I then took my purse, my backpack, my suitcases and dumped them out in the middle of the floor in my room and went through every scrap of paper I had with me. I finally found the form - it had slipped out of my passport and stuck to the back of a photograph of the family at Jessica's graduation that I had been showing everyone. Triumphantly, I presented the form to the desk clerk and suggested politely (sort of) that the next time they wanted someone to give them some paperwork, they should at least have an example of the stupid form (since it's in Russian) so I would know what in the world I was looking for! They love forms and stamps over here, and make a big deal even out of a cash register receipt.So, that was my big adventure for the day.

I tried to find stamps for Letsa, but believe it or not, the main post office was out of stamps! Unbelievable! (I shouldn't be surprised - the hotel in Murmansk didn't have any water one day!) The day was rescued when I went to TGI Friday's and had fried shrimp and french fries! Also, I did a little shopping -- well, a lot of shopping -- well, really a tremendous amount of shopping. Perked me up pretty good, I must say. Sightseeing on the agenda for tomorrow, then an early start home on Sunday. I'll be leaving Moscow at 1:00 a.m. on Sunday morning Atlanta time, and set to arrive Sunday afternoon in Atlanta. Somehow I think Larry will be glad to see me. Thanks to all who have been praying for me - almost there, so keep it up a little while longer.

Last Post from Moscow:

Dear friends and family: I've had the most amazing day. After yesterday, I just wanted to pack up and come on home early, but for some reason I knew I shouldn't try.The main worker here for the adoption coordinators, Amrex, is Tatyana. She and her husband, Nic, have a 25 year old daughter, Maria, who also does some guide work and translation work. Maria and I did some sightseeing today. One of the first places we went to was the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. She didn't go in, because she said she's seen every church in Moscow 100 times! Anyway, I went in and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the cathedral.

I looked around for a place to pray, but it was mainly filled with tourists, looking around. Finally, I went to a corner and began to pray. Suddenly I realized that my prayers had been full of "me, me, me" all week long. I asked the Lord to forgive me and to allow me to somehow share His glory in Moscow. When I went outside, Maria mentioned something about religion, asking if I was religious, and said it in a way that swung wide the door to explain my beliefs. When I told her that I wasn't religous, because "doing things" to try to work your way to heaven was useless, she was dumbfounded and curious. I referred to Isaiah and said that we were filthy before a holy God, no matter what we did on our own. I told her that I much preferred having a real relationship with God through Jesus, His Son. She said she had never heard of such a thing and asked many questions. For well over an hour today, I was able to answer her blunt questions, including the typical "why does God let bad things happen?" and I was grateful that the answers were not my own, but given to me. With her every question, I was able to refer directly to scripture, and let her know that the Bible was written to guide her to heaven, and that was God's plan for her! She said she had never read the Bible, and didn't think she could understand it.At the end of our day, I had to go up to the hotel room to get cash to pay her and the driver. (I had spent too much of my money - sorry, Larry) I invited her to go up with me. I had with me our Sunday school literature and a copy of the new HCSB New Testament, both of which have written the plan of salvation much like I had explained to her. I knew she liked magazines, so I compared the Sunday school literature with a magazine, showing her the articles in it. I don't know if she'll read any of it, but she seemed insatiably curious about it all.

When she wanted my email address, I wrote in on the back of an index card where I had written verses from Jeremiah - because I had told her earlier that God has a special plan for her life, and that He will be found if she truly seeks Him. She was curious about why I had Bible verses written on index cards, and I explained that doing so helped me to learn them and meditate on them. Please pray for the seed that was planted today.

How gracious is God that when we ask of Him, like I did in the Cathedral, He will open the doors for us to share His glory!

You won't be getting any more emails from me -- and you may be glad of it! Thank you for sharing my journey with me. Thank you all for your friendship and for the many prayers which were lifted up for me. My flight for home leaves at 1:00 a.m. "Bulldawg" time, and I shall see my precious husband and family soon.~ Dos vadonyas ~ "Good bye" JUDY

Blessings to all -- JUDY

Even More reflections....

Yet another email I found from Russia, when I was there by myself:

Dear family & friends: Tomorrow morning I go to the notary's office (much like an attorney) and fill out paperwork to prepare the petition for adoption. Then I will go back to the orphanage at 11 a.m. for another visit with the child.

I saw another group of children this afternoon - children about 3 years of age coming in from being outside. There is no playground here - only dirt and weeds. They have a few tires stuck in the ground, but the swings are gone and there is no equipment to play on. I had to stop walking and pray for those children. I cried a little, but then had to go on. My heart just goes out to them. The weather here is much like our spring, complete with pollen. So my allergies are acting up! I'm glad I brought some Claritin.

I will be glad to get to Moscow - the food here is horrible; very greasy with sauces & boiled meat. I guess I'd make a lousy missionary! I leave for Moscow early Friday morning, and will be in Moscow until Sunday morning. I will then catch a plane from Moscow to Paris, then Paris to Atlanta and should be home around 3:30 p.m. or so on Sunday. With clearing customs, etc., I should be home around 6 p.m. or so.

Stephen and I practiced saying "Goooo Dawgs!!!" I think he will get the hang of it. He's built like a linebacker!

The final day in Murmansk went something like this:

Subject: Murmansk, Day Three

Dear friends & family: I have had a full time here. On Wednesday, I visited the Ministry of Education, then went to the orphanage for a 2 hour visit. Then again yesterday afternoon, I went back to the orphanage again for a 1-1/2 hour visit. I was unable to sleep at all last night. It is still very light here until about 1 a.m., and begins to get light again at about 5 a.m. In the winter, the daylight hours here get as short as 1-1/2 hours of daylight per day! Today, we went to the notary's office to have some paperwork notarized (yes, Donna, there has been MORE paperwork). The notary didn't like the way it was worded, so she demanded changes to be made. So, we went back to my guide's apartment and he made the changes. Then back to the notary to wait in line to get the documents notarized.

It was funny, some people came in while I was sitting by myself and started talking to me. I was able to tell them IN RUSSIAN, that I was an American and didn't understand Russian! At least I can tell people I can't understand them! Then they look at me funny (which is not unusual either here or at home!).

Anyway, after the paperwork adventure, back to the orphanage for a 1-1/2 hour visit. The little boy has a bad cold with chest congestion, so he was a little droopy this morning. I came back to the hotel for a delightful lunch of boiled potatoes, boiled vegetables, and rice. I would like to go back into the kitchen with a little bit a cornmeal and teach them how to make cornbread and salmon patties! (with turnip greens, of course) Then, I decided to blow a bunch of money and call home. I was able to talk with Larry and the kids briefly while he was trying to get the kids ready for school. Somehow, I've got the feeling that he will be VERY glad to see me!

Then, back to the orphanage for the final visit. He recognized me the moment I came into the room and had a big, toothy grin on his face. We played for a little over an hour, then it was time for his supper. When the worker offered to take him from me, he didn't want to go to her - he wanted to stay with me.

My guide is a professor at a University here that trains interpreters. He had previously asked me if I would consent to be interviewed on tape so that he could use it as a training exercise. It was an interesting experience, especially knowing that my Southern-fried, Kentucky-twanged voice will be heard and scrutinized by many Russian students in the future. He asked me lots of questions, mainly dealing with the perceptions of Russia in America, the differences between the peoples, etc. He opened the door, and I was able to talk freely about my faith and beliefs. Who knows but that it may make a difference! He asked me if I was used to public speaking, because he said that I seemed comfortable expressing myself and my opinions. He also wants to interview Larry on the next trip, and I told him that he would get a good interview, because Larry is so much smarter than me. He seemed genuinely surprised that I would say such a thing in all sincerity. But, it's true!!!

Well, now I will get up tomorrow (Friday) morning at 4:30 to leave the hotel by 5:30 to get to the airport by 6:30 to check in for an 8 am flight to Moscow. I will be met at the airport by an interpreter, and I will have a free afternoon, evening and all day Saturday in Moscow.

I look forward to an American breakfast with real bacon and eggs and also to a meal at TGIF in Moscow! Bring on the french fries - I'm tired of boiled potatoes! I'll have time to shop in Moscow, and I need to bring our adoption worker some Russian items as well as a friend some Russian stamps. Oh well, what I won't sacrifice (shopping) for friendship!! C

ontinue to pray for me and for my safety. I've got a lot of photos and video from which the doctors will examine and assist Larry and I in making a final decision on the child. We desire your prayers for wisdom and discernment as we make this very important decision. I can already see God's hand all over this trip - in a city of 350,000 people, He arranged for me to meet a Christian to guide me and interpret for me! There are not many Protestant churches here - his church has a membership of about 700, and there are three small Baptist churches here that total about 300 in membership, plus a Lutheran church. And he only began as an interpreter for the adoption agency in June! Right before we realized we would not be traveling to St. Petersburg, God prepared a man, just at the right time, for such a time as this. God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good!

You'll hear from me next in Moscow! Love and Blessings -- JUDY

JUST WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT THE ADVENTURE IN MOSCOW......A RUSSIAN JAIL? SAY IT AIN'T SO, SISTER!

Where in the world is Murmansk?? Russia??

I've started a process I can't stop! When we adopted our second child from Russia, the decision was made that I would go by myself to "pick out" the child.....Larry thought it would be best that one of us stay behind for the other three. So......I did a lot of prayer, soul-searching, emailing and shopping for 8 days by myself! Here's the first installment of my solo-journey around the world to meet our precious Scooter:


Dear Friends: Well, I am here safely and having a good time. The breakfast was interesting, shall we say, and I am very glad I brought slim-fast bars with me! This afternoon I will go to the airport again to pick up the proxy paperwork (power of attorney) from Larry that somehow disappeared until yesterday. I have spent the morning touring around the city with my interpreter/guide. I think he has been amazed at how I can shop - and I've been taking it easy on purpose! Saving Larry lots of money.......There WAS that grey mink hat I saw today (and resisted!)

But the really good news is that my guide is a Christian! We went to a Christian book store this morning and they were playing a Rebecca St. James CD! I bought a Russian children's bible for the kids. So even though the IMB has no missionaries here, God is looking out for my safety! There are lots of interesting monuments and things around the city. It is, as all Russian cities are, very bleak looking. It is summer here, and last night I could see my breath. My sweater today was almost not warm enough, and my hands got cold walking around the city.

I may get to go to Wednesday night church services, which are held in a member's home. They start churches here by establishing a "cell" group, which you may be familiar with. I gave my guide several packs of Russian children's tracts, which he said they can use with Sunday School and outreach. We may want to collect some children and adult Sunday school materials and other religious books to bring back next trip.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) will be very busy. I will first go to the Ministry of Education and officially receive the referral of the child. Then, we will go to the orphanage, which is in the city. Around lunch time, we will go to see several more sights, then back to the orphanage. I will go to the notary's office (attorney's office) either tomorrow afternoon or on Thursday to prepare and sign the petition for adoption. Then I will get to go to the orphanage again on Thursday and see the child again. This will be so very different than with Hannah. The first time we saw Hannah, we got to see her for an hour, and that was it! Hopefully, I will be able to spend a lot of time with this little guy!

I will be leaving Murmansk very early Friday morning, and will arrive in Moscow at about 10:30 a.m. on Friday. I've set aside Friday afternoon to rest, and all day Saturday to shop! Then the journey home begins on Sunday morning, which is Saturday night at home. As I am writing this, it is 3:10 pm on Tuesday, which is about 7:10 a.m. at home. My knee is better (for those of you who knew I twisted it on Sunday), and I have spent the day with a evangelical Christian. What a wonderful time I am having! Please keep praying for me. I was looking at wisdom verses last night, reading in Proverbs and Phillipians about wisdom. Please pray for me tomorrow and Thursday, that I might have wisdom and God's discernment about this child. Continue to pray for my safety. I thank God for all of you!

I distinctly remember being picked up at the airport and having my initial conversation with my driver/interpreter. I kept thinking "this guy is a Christian" from his conversation.....and finally he apologetically asked if I was a Christian! What an answer to prayer to be safe in the care of a Christian brother, even if it was half-way around the world!!

This is from the second day in Murmansk:

Dear friends & family: It is 3:15 p.m. here local time. I have had so much going on and got back to the hotel too late last night to email. My guide asked if I would like to have dinner with him and his family last night. Of course, I said yes. So we went to his apartment and I met his family. His wife is beautiful and charming, and his two little boys (aged 4 and 6) made me miss Sam very much! They were laughing and climbing all over their daddy just like our kids do. Their entire apartment is a little bit bigger than my kitchen. They have three rooms, a main room where the husband and wife sleep, which is also their living area and his office; the boys share a small bedroom, and there is a kitchen about the size of my laundry room. Plus a private bath. They asked me to pray for the meal in English, and I was so honored. They are starting a marriage ministry at their church (about 700 members).

The city has about 390,000 citizens, and they are optimistic about their church growth. They presently meet in a movie theater at 8:30 a.m. on Sundays. That's the only time they use that facility - the other meetings are in member's homes. I went this morning to the Ministry of Education and formally received the referral of our boy. I took her a huge bouquet of flowers and she was appreciative. Russians love gifts, as we learned our last trip. Then we went to the orphanage, and I got to spend about 1-1/2 hours with the child. He is very fair complected, with blond hair and blue/grey eyes. He looks, as my brother in law Phillip would say, like a little "rooskie". He is very fat and solemn, not unlike how Hannah was when we first got her. I took lots of video of him. He has 5, almost 6 teeth, and is sitting up very well and also beginning to pull up.

The orphanage was very clean and bright, also very cheerful. I was told that the contributions made by American adoption agencies are begining to trickle down to the actual orphanage and improvements made there. The difficult thing today was that I was taken to watch Stephen eat, and unexpectedly was in the room with 10 other children. All looking at me, watching me closely. One little girl obviously had Down's syndrome. How heartbreaking to know that each of these children need a momma and daddy to love them. I must close quickly now, as it is time to go back to the orphanage for an afternoon visit. Please continue to pray for me - for safety, wisdom and the discernment of the Holy Spirit. I am enjoying talking theology with my guide - he said I was a great Bible teacher and orator! Who knew??